The Future and The Past

So much has happened since my last post... I feel wonderful and my extreme dislike of the human race has practical disappeared. I attribute it to birth control pills... isn’t that unexpected?! Apparently even though all of my hormonal tests came back fabulous over and over, my hormones or lack thereof were a significant problem. I love that an insignificant pill (that I don’t even have to take because my husband has a vasectomy) is practically a cure all! I’m still taking my other medications, but I have to say that this new little pill has changed my life!
Hubby and I went to "Tales of the Cocktail" in NOLA in July and it was excellent! Three days of childless abandon, lots of top shelf alcohol, and great people to hang out with. Our hotel was nice, but beyond the courtyard it didn’t have to NOLA charm I long for: a view of ancient rooftops and a balcony to sit and ponder life while I drink my coffee and watch the sunrise.. yep, when I am in New Orleans I never sleep in. The city is invigorating and brings me alive! The culture pours into me and fills my soul like no other place in the world! A unique place that holds on to the past, yet embraces the future and promises passion! There is no place I would rather be. It is where my soul resides, and where my dreams take me.
I lived through the boys birthdays this year with only a short time of despair and misery. I know that remembering the birth of your children is supposed to be a wonderful thing, but it fills me thoughts of hopelessness and overwhelming guilt. Other mothers’ don’t understand. I have yet to meet one that does. I love my children... I have embraced my future with Alexander and yet Sept. 10th through the 20th is the hardest part of the year for me.
I am back in my painting class. It is a studio class where we create and she critiques our work and pushes us past our comfort zone. I emailed my teacher before I signed up for her class. I explained my absence at the end of last semester, and she welcomed me back with much enthusiasm. I don’t think she knows what to think of me, but her friendly personality and sincere enjoyment of my work is a refreshing break in the middle of the week that I can look forward to.
I’m working on two paintings at the moment. One is a woman with large sunglasses soaring over a forest with a river running through it. I let my feelings dictate what my subject matter is and it pours onto the canvas; most of the time it isn’t until later that I can really understand the entire meaning of the images. This particular painting is a dream of the future so filled with promise and light I have to wear shades! The words that come to mind are "vibrant and natural."

The second painting was a result of reading the book "The Mists of Avalon." It is Morgaine surrounded by trees under a tumultuous sky. She is wearing a cape with the hood pulled over her hair, but she has a look on her face of knowledge and mischief. It is far from being completed, but it has much promise!
My life is still far from regular. I struggle with domestic issues; I clean bathrooms and vacuum constantly, but in the middle of it all I feel a since of belonging. I am coming into my own; fulfilling my destiny and ultimately embracing life.