Apathy

Motivation is so difficult to achieve when amidst a veil of apathy. I have 6 hours of quiet time while the boys are away at school during the day. I want to create. I want to make beautiful and sometimes dangerous drawings. I want to write, but when I start to think about it I get all anxious and start to procrastinate. All it takes is getting out the supplies and sitting down with my pencil in my hand. Why does it seem so hard to accomplish? My head starts to hurt and my eyelids get heavy and before I know it I am in bed sleeping the time away. I wake up and find myself disappointed that the day has slipped away.
I did make a huge step by making Dr appointments that I have been putting of for some time now. I even have a date book that I wrote all of my times in. New years resolution was to be more organized when it comes to appointments. So far so good.
I am always in such a hurry to do nothing.