Pain

I hurt so damn bad!
The pain in my chest is immeasurable... I am attempting to describe the indescribable.
I'm in Hell and the Devil's got my number! I beg...I bargain... yet the mental anguish continues unrelenting. I can imagine only one fate worse than this and it is not death.
It hurts to move...to have ideas... to plan... no dinner, no cleaning... no physical contact... "Don't touch me!"... all too overwhelming... suffocating... cotton batting filling my throat, my head in a vice grip, weights on my chest, burning in my stomach... yet those words only describe the physical sensations. Mostly... I would just like to cut my head off, blow my brains out, use an ice pick to give myself a lobotomy.
No! I'm not there yet... I'm still able to reason/rationalize. These thoughts aren't real. This pain will pass. These are just chemicals manipulating my subconscious. The extreme pressure suffocating me is imagined.
A deep breath, another, and then another, a ray of light? A moment of hope?
Free... I long to be free...to be able to breath.
::the Devil grins::
No matter how hard I try... I can't make it go away.