Its 6am. We've been up since 4:30. He is crying because I wont put a different movie in the dvd. He has gotten really bad about wanting to change his movies every 2 to 3 mins. I have to put my foot down and he has to get his feelings hurt to understand. Warm coffee in my hands with 5 splenda's and two creams. It's a very large cup that says, "Dad-- the local branch of the money tree," I love it! I'm not supposed to indulge in caffeine. I swear all of the good things are bad for you! I'm not going to give up coffee unless it kills me. It does make my heart race and sometimes causes panic attacks, but other then those two things and bad breath, its a gift from the gods!
My house looks like the carnival came to visit. Popcorn everywhere and stuff thrown about like we've been on the highlander. The ride that spins around really fast throwing you to one side of the car and then going backwards throwing you to the other side. You always lose something on those rides, scarf, shoe, hat, or worse. The worse was cleaned up immediately, but the other things are waiting until right before we have house guests.
We have a long day today. That always frightens me and makes me ill at ease. Alexander's helper is not coming this afternoon. We have a speech evaluation and I have to pick up some head meds. That means going to the store with the maniac. It could be an uneventful trip, but most likely we will have a bit of yelling, stomping and if we are lucky he might even throw a fit on the floor. He isn't a brat. He just doesn't understand anything like we do. I'm not sure he understands everything we say. Such as; you have that CD in the car, or that book at home. Stand up Alexander! Holding his hand, head forward with a smile on my face as he distracts every patron in the store. What's interesting is that people think he is just a regular child throwing a fit. I don't think it looks like anything a regular child would do. Especially when Osric is standing there the pentacle of well behaved children and Alexander is screaming on the floor. I must say does it look like you should come up to me and give me parenting advice? Most of the time I take it well. Say he is Autistic and overstimulated. They say, "I'm so sorry," head down tail between their legs. But then there are other times when I just can't take it. Ive been pushed as far as I can go. I'm frustrated with the situation and the people staring are easy targets. "What the hell are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen an Autistic child before?" when I say that it just makes me feel worse and the people don't learn anymore compassion because they have just been chastised and insulted. That is definitely not the way to make people more compassionate or aware of Autism. They make t-shirts that say wonderful things: "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart." "What, Is my autism showing." "I have autism, Whats your excuse?" "I don't need parenting advice unless you have a child with autism." and so many more that are great. They even have cards you can hand out to people that are staring or confronting you. Integration for special needs kids is so important. Its their world to. They just don't understand all of it.
It's time for me to clean the child's room, 6:30 am and my day is in full swing.
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