Sterile Reality

"Where am I, Dr. Peabody?"
"You mean you don't know?" His soft voice trying to calm the panic inside of me.
My eyes dart around the room. The white sterile walls; I vaguely remember being hurried into a room and my husband was there. They made me get undressed and wrap this odd piece of clothing around my body.
My eyes start to tear up. I look back at Mr. Peabody, "Have I been here before?" my voice quivers.
"You are on the 3rd floor of Wonderland Hospital. You can't keep doing this Alice. You're going to kill yourself sooner rather than later."
"Isn't that the point."
My psychiatrist stared at me with a look of horror. He had been my doctor for five years now and it wasn't until recently that I became unstable.
"What day is it?"
"It's September 15, 2008. You were out for two days this time."
This is the fourth time he has met me at the hospital. Apparently its one time too many because I hear him telling me that he is turning me over to another doctor. He feels like I do not respect him anymore and therefor I have stopped trusting him as a doctor. He sounds hurt. "I thought we had a better dr./patient relationship Alice. I wish you would have told me when you started to feel like you needed to take matters into your own hands."
"Dr. Peabody, I'm so tired of trying this medicine and that medicine. I just want something to work. I want to be able to go through an entire day without feeling like something horrible is going to happen. I'm in a constant state of impending doom. Its exhausting! I'm just so tired."